My biggest achievement is not a tangible success; an epic send of a hard grade boulder, a mountain summit or even the opportunity to travel to really experience different places, cultures or activities.
My biggest achievement is still ongoing. Recovery from a
severe eating disorder, PTSD and other mental health issues that stole most of
my life. For many years I lived in a fragile body that could barely walk,
trapped in the prison of my own mind.
I found faith in God and discovered indoor bouldering about 4 years ago, both of which completely saved my life. Since then, I took the biggest risk I have ever made, which was recovery.
Just like climbing, it's a long, uphill, sometimes painful and
gruelling journey. That some days, it takes every single amount of physical and
emotional strength to not pack it all in and give up. The storms of life
threaten to knock you off course completely.
However, having a taste of life without an eating disorder,
and a vision of life that was energy and experience abundant, it has driven me
to carry on.
I fell in love with a sport that was strength and power
based, and totally whole mind and body encompassing. A sport that has shown me that I can overcome my fears, a
sport that is making me strong and powerful.
Through the process of climbing out of the darkness I was in, I am discovering so much about myself and about life that I would never have known if it had happened in an instant. I see the world around me differently. I have built solid relationships in a brand new city. My perspective has shifted from looking down and in, to looking out and up. From one of despair to one of hope.
I know now, no matter the dark hole you find yourself in,
how stuck you feel, there is always hope. There is always a way you can find a
way through the crux of a problem. It may take longer than you like, you may
need to rest a little to regain strength, but it's never impossible.
I have learnt that there really is nothing that is impossible. I am learning to harness the most powerful weapon I own, the strongest muscle I own; my mind. And I know that one day soon, I will achieve what I want to achieve; a life completely free of trauma and anorexia. The liberation and exhilaration of getting to my mountain top will be phenomenal and will be worth every single bit of hard work. I'm hoping to have more amazing adventures along the way too ☺️ because being fully alive is really such a gift ❤️
